Candy-Colored Cars

Tom Wolfe was on to something.

As I look out my living room window at my magenta/fuchsia/purple/pink Ford Fiesta I can’t help but let my gaze drift to the rest of the cars on my block. My neighbours drive a dark grey Mazda3 and a navy Civic. Across the street there’s a blue/grey Venza and a white Escalade. To my right, a black Tucson — and in my own garage a Java Black Pearl (yes, black) Subaru WRX.

Wow, we’re all so boring.

Even driving down the highway I’m nearly bored to death by the mundane, drab colours coming at me. Grey, silver, black, dark maroon (and that’s really living it up), white, more grey, more silver — how obnoxiously normal of everyone

So I got to thinking; why are only certain cars offered in such outrageous candy-inspired colours? Take the Mazda MX-5 for example. I had a bright burnt orange one last summer, and I’ve seen it in dazzing blue and red as well. Same for the Mazda RX-8. Porsches come in colours like bright yellow and neon green, as do Lambos.

So, why can’t I get a Subaru Impreza in teal? Or a VW GTI in canary yellow? The colours offered for most vehicles is usually in drab department ranging from silver to navy right up to white (which I found out often costs more to have and has to be specially ordered because white cars don’t sell well when they’re left on the lot) — totally uninteresting and totally bore-tastic.

And then I got to thinking: Would I really want a teal Subaru or a canary yellow Dodge Caravan or a pumpkin orange Nissan Rogue (oh, wait, those do exist *gag*)?

See, the thing is, oh faithful reader, only certain cars can actually carry those candy-coloured coatings I speak of. And that’s what makes those rides so fantastic.

Pinkie in my driveway looks fantastic in that colour. And if she was bright lime green (also offered for the Fiesta) she’d look just as fabulous (I’ve deemed Pinkie a girl for obvious reasons). But, if my WRX were the same fuchsia color I think I’d throw-up a little in my mouth every time I saw it.

Even my deep black Jaguar XJL Supercharged (noticed how I said mine there) wouldn’t be able to pull off a vibrant blue or any vibrant color for that matter. It’s not meant for those candy-coloured hues.

I actually get excited when I see a hint of bright colour on the road. What could it be? What rare model or droolworthy car is sporting that flashy number? And sometimes I’m shocked to discover a Mazda3 or a MINI Cooper strutting its stuff on the highway in a brightly coloured paint job.

Is it just that certain cars aren’t meant for the bright look, just like certain people should never be bleach blondes or wear sequins? Candy-coloured cars are so few and far between, it makes me wonder if it isn’t more about our fear of standing out and being “different” that keeps us from sporting those fabulous colours and keeps the manufacturers from offering said colours to their mundane models.

I’m so glad companies like Mazda and Ford are offering their latest hatch models in such vibrant outfits.

As Pinkie and I bond this week, I’ll keep my eyes open for vibrant vehicles and make sure to exclaim “there goes (varoom! varoom!) that kandy-kolored (thphhhhhh!) tangerine-flake streamline baby (rahghhh!) around the bend (Brummmmmmmmmmmmmmm)…” sound effects and all.

Drive on (brightly),
– M.

~ by drivingmsmiranda on August 3, 2010.

4 Responses to “Candy-Colored Cars”

  1. Miranda,

    My wife inherited a white Saturn from her parents several years ago. (Whoops, I stand corrected. Apparently, they sold it to her because her mother had trouble getting in and out of it). Indeed, it was pretty low to the ground, if I recall correctly – and with Panzer tank-like shocks, it was not the smoothest of rides. And it had those so-called revolutionary automatic sliding shoulder belts designed probabaly for the sealt belt reluctant US maraket. Later, Saturn would add a notice to the inside of the front window shades saying that the driver needed to do the lap belt up too for maximum safety. This, after a few people made solid contact with the windshield, thinking they were protected with just the shoulder belts, I assume.

    But on to your point about today’s cars looking drab and homogeneous in appearance. I once came out of Tim’s and got right into a white Saturn in the parking lot. It took a moment before the interior surroundings seemed a bit unfamiliar. Not to mention that the key didn’t fit. It was a Saturn alright, but not mine. But how many white Saturns were there around? Just two as it turned out. I was close, but no cigar. I quiclky exited, hoping the real owner didn’t appear and crow-bar me.

    Now I have a beige Cavalier which is much more difficult to find in a parking lot. I have done plenty of time circling lots looking for The Beige One. There are way more beige Cavaliers out there than white Saturns. In fact, I don’t think there are any Saturns out there anymore. But with the lock keypad in hand, I sometimes have to summon up The Cavalier, as one might when getting the dog to come back before she shits on a neighbour’s lawn.

    Beige is the new Lost. Because for people of a certain age who have trouble remembering where they parked, beige can add years to your short-term memory problem.

    Next car? Something neon, maybe. Or one that comes when called.


    • Hey Ian,

      Thanks so much for the read!

      Fantastic story – love that you got in a Saturn that wasn’t yours, that’s precisely the point I was trying to make.

      I think they should definitely work on a car that comes when called … and goes to get its own gas when it’s “hungry.” 🙂

      Drive on,
      – M.

  2. Wonderful web-site, wherever did you discovered this data in this article? I am glad I discovered it. i’ll be checking out back soon to examine what other posts you can have.

  3. […] few months ago I brought to your attention the league of candy-coloured cars on the road today. From Fiestas to Accents, MINIs to Lotus their bright spots litter the mundane […]

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