Electrifying Emotions Behind The Wheel

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A lack of decent television has brought to my attention a strange phenomenon: peeling off in a vehicle in a hot rage.

C and I were starved for good television a few nights ago, so we decided to catch up on an older show we strangely stopped watching midway through one of the seasons: Californication. We were obsessed with it at the time and watched it religiously. But somehow, we lost interest (and I can’t imagine why because I think David Duchovny is one of the sexiest men out there, and there’s enough boobie shots to keep my husband interested even if the storyline gets a bit sappy).

It was during one of these catch-up episodes that an interesting thing happened: David Duchovny’s character’s wife is outrageously angry at him. They have a massive blow-out in their house and she storms out (as any good wife would). They argue in the street for a bit until she can’t stand it anymore so she hops into her car and peels off down the street in a white-hot rage.

Only, her getaway is less than aggressive and doesn’t communicate her level of rage or make a point at all.

She drives a Prius and the car doesn’t even make a noise when she turns it on … and drives away.

And it got me thinking: this new era of all-electric vehicles is fast approaching, so does that mean the era of showing your emotions with your car is ebbing away?

There’s something matter-of-fact about an engine roaring to life, rubber squealing and the sound of an engine growing faint as the car speeds away into the distance. It’s final. It’s like an exclamation point to the final word in an argument.

Driving off mad in an all-electric car is like leaving the argument open. Wait, was she angry? Did she just decide she needed milk at the corner store? Is this going to continue when she gets back or is it over? Is she still mad? Nah, must be OK, she didn’t sound angry when she left. Correction: the car didn’t sound angry when she left.

There’s no closure with an electric getaway.

It’s like those damn IKEA kitchen cabinets that don’t slam. Who thought that was a good idea?! How frustrating is that? Come on, oh faithful reader, you know sometimes you just need to slam a cupboard or a door.

If I owned those IKEA cupboards I’d be breaking plates just to make a point. What’s with wanting/needing to silence all these things that so adequately convey the emotions we’re feeling at the moment?

Upon further reflection, I’ve decided there’s a solution to the silent electric car angry getaway: a fury button. Said fury button would at least emit the sound of a car being pushed to its limits, tires squealing, as the driver sped away down the road.

I know, not as satisfying at all, but at least the person you’re arguing with will get the point and you won’t have to worry your pretty little green head about killing the planet and all that jazz.

Here’s to keeping the angry peel-off alive. 

Drive on,

- M.

~ by drivingmsmiranda on April 3, 2012.

One Response to “Electrifying Emotions Behind The Wheel”

  1. Hilarious!!!!
    An excellent point that in fact no one else in the automotive world to my knowledge has ever even pondered.
    Not to mention there’s a whole new opportunity for the aftermarket industry here, the “exterior” sound system.
    Even iTunes could get in on the act… download the latest Ferrari V12 sountrack for your Tesla, only $2.99 (simulated launch control $1.00 extra).

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